


Don't be Afraid to Love

by puff22_2001



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Murder, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bad Characterization, Bad Writing, Blood, Break Up, Cliche, Destiny, Fandom Allusions & Cliches & References, Fluff and Angst, Gun Violence, Kidnapping, Mamoru is foolish, Multi, Reconciliation, The Violence Isn't That Graphic, This is Bad, and no one is actually sexual assaulted, bad bad bad, badfic, because fair warning, but I'd rather err on the side of caution, read the author's notes for the context
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 05:31:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20168956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puff22_2001/pseuds/puff22_2001
Summary: Mamoru breaks up with Usagi--again. Usagi isn't taking it well. But Usagi isn't fourteen any longer, and Mamoru's actions have grave consequences.This work is posted as-is from my earliest known draft, circa 2003.





	Don't be Afraid to Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bad fic. When I say bad, I mean trite, shallow, and crass. The characters are one-dimensional, the plot is both cliche and nonsensical, and the story overall is an abject lesson in terrible tropes circa the late 90s and early 00s. Please see the end notes for more context and details.
> 
> This work is posted as-is from my earliest known draft, circa 2003.

Disclaimer- I do not own Bishoujo Senshi SailorMoon/Sailor Moon or any of its persons, places, things, plots, or ideas. Naoko Takeuchi, a bunch of people and corporations in Japan, and a bunch of people and corporations in America own it. I, in no way, shape or form, say I own it. Please don't sue me.

"I'm sorry, Usagi-chan, but I just don't love you . . . and I mean it this time!" The tall, dark-haired man said to the shocked blond at his side. Mamoru had asked Usagi to his place to talk. Usagi, thinking her was going to finally propose, came eagerly. Now they were sitting on his couch, and Usagi couldn't believe her ears.  
"But . . . Mamo-chan . . . you love me! You always have! Why are you leaving now?" Usagi cried as she began to sob uncontrollably.  
"Did you ever wonder WHY I left you so much? Besides getting killed and all, it was because, I guess, I knew deep down it wouldn't work, so I shied away from you. Now I know this. Don't get me wrong, Usagi-chan. I care about you . . . a lot. I just don't LOVE you. I think of you more as my very attractive sister." Mamoru laughed mirthlessly. Then he burst from the couch and started pacing the room. "I wanted to . . . "  
"What about ChibiUsa-chan, huh? Are you saying you don't love her either? You don't love your future daughter? The child WE'RE supposed to have? Are you going to leave me AND her?" Usagi almost screamed. She was getting mad, and liking it. Mamoru had left her one too many times, and Usagi wasn't taking it anymore.  
"I guess we could . . . um . . . you know . . . do 'It' once to conceive her." Mamoru muttered, embarrassed.  
"Oh, THANK you! I am so glad that you'll do that for little ol' her. I sure hope you can pay child support, because I'm going to suck you dry when ChibiUsa-chan is born. Oh wait! I won't have to! I'M GOING TO BE QUEEN OF THE WORLD! And you can bet your ass that I'm going to have you locked up for the most minor crimes! AND I'm going to make you my septic tank cleaner! So I hope you're happy for two, maybe three years, because when I become queen, your life is going to be a living hell. JUST LIKE MINE WAS ALL THOSE TIMES YOU LEFT ME!" With that, Usagi stormed out Mamoru's apartment door, leaving a very stunned Mamoru behind.  
~*~*~*~*~  
"I'll kill him! Just try to stop me!" Kino Makoto fumed to the three girls at the table. Usagi had called Rei, told the whole miserable tale, and informed her to tell the others she couldn't make the senshi meeting. After relating the story to the others, Makoto was seething, Minako had gone to throw up, and Ami was cursing in six languages. (That's how mad she was.) Rei was unusually calm.  
"You guys, cool it. I think Usa-chan will be ok." Rei stated.  
"How can you say that? Every other time that baka Chiba-san dumped her, she almost died from fucking grief!" Minako said, and promptly apologized to the group.  
"I think she'll be ok because she wasn't crying on the phone. She was positively livid! I'm talking as mad as she was at Beryl, Wiseman, and all the rest of them. She isn't taken this anymore. I bet she gets even." Rei was almost chuckling. She had always known, in the deepest part of her soul, that Usagi would eventually get fed up with Mamoru's abuse and tell him off. And Rei knew she finally had.  
~*~*~*~*~  
"Why do I do this? I promised her the LAST time I wouldn't do this again. And yet I am. I've hurt her again. Why?" Mamoru moaned to himself as he stared at the wall. After the initial shock of Usagi's outburst, her words had sunken in . . . and hurt. He could have handled the usual hysterical sobbing, some anger, or denial. But all out RAGE, when Usagi was the sweetest, nicest person ever? Even for Rei that was a little much. And Mamoru knew Usagi was enraged . . . because of him. "I DO love you Usako . . . I'm just so scared you'll leave me first. " Mamoru said to the night as he got up to go to bed. "If you only knew how much it would hurt if you left me. That's why I do what I do, over and over. If you only knew how much it would hurt." Mamoru whispered to the wall. As he drifted off to sleep, he thought he heard a familiar, female voice say,  
"She does know, Chiba Mamoru. She does know."  
~*~*~*~*~  
"Hello Usa-chan, we're glad you could come. We were worried your mom would keep you too long to get here. Hello Haisha-san, it's nice to see you." Rei said coolly to the couple before her. Usagi had insisted on bringing Haisha Ranbou to the annual carnival with them, and now she was hanging all over him. The others made similar introductions, and all wished to anyone and everyone who could hear them that Usagi would dump this drip. Every one of them wanted Ranbou to be Mamoru. The cats especially. Unlike Mamoru, Ranbou was not an honorary senshi, and this did not allow the cats to talk in his presence. This had caused the felines to decide to stay home and study a bit. This just peeved the girls, though. What WORRIED them was Ranbou's habit of getting violent when things didn't go his way. But then again, Usagi WAS moving on. She hadn't spoken a single word to Mamoru since the breakup, and she seemed to be happy, if more jumpy and nervous.  
"Oh, well. Let's try to be nice, for Usa-chan's sake." Minako said after a few rude gestures at Ranbou's back. The rest agreed. Usagi's dating someone they hated was better then Usagi hating THEM.  
"Let's go on the Tim . . . ber . . . Tear . . . her." Makoto spelt out the English as best she could, when Usagi and Ranbou turned back from their conversation, which seemed more like a lecture on Ranbou's part to the girls.  
"It's `Timber Terror, and I believe it would be quite fun." Ami laughed genteelly. The group all knew the Timber Terror was Usagi's favorite ride, and they felt she deserved it for getting over Mamoru so fast. Usagi was just about to eagerly agree when Ranbou leaned over and whispered in Usagi's ear. Usagi visibly recoiled, collected herself, and then said quietly,  
"I think that maybe we should go on the Ferris Wheel first." The girls stood shocked. Usagi never before backed down in choosing rides. "Come on, you guys. It'll be fun." Usagi said as she plastered a huge fake grin on her face. Her eyes, though, pleaded for compliance.  
"Uh, ok, Usa-chan. Let's go." Rei said uneasily. Ranbou was known to get girls up on the Ferris Wheel to make out. Usagi had told them that she and Ranbou were hands-off so early in the relationship, but none of the girls thought Ranbou would stick by his oath. "Listen, you guys," Rei whispered as Usagi and Ranbou walked ahead of them, Ranbou leading, Usagi meekly following, "I really don't like him. If we let them out of our sight, he'll probably hurt her. So, I think we should never leave them alone. As long as we're here, we keep a close eye on them. Got it?" The other three girls agreed. After paying the ticket man, the group got into their seats. Usagi and Ranbou were together, Makoto and Ami, and Rei and Minako. As the Wheel began to slowly turn, Rei took out her Henshin Rod, as did the others. It couldn't hurt to have them handy in case Ranbou got out of hand. Which, about two minutes later, he did. Rei was just enjoying the view of a very cute cotton candy vendor (hey, just because she and Yuuichirou were dating, didn't mean she couldn't look) when she heard Usagi almost scream,  
"NO, Ranbou-chan! I mean it! Don't . . . " Rei started to say her henshin phrase, but stopped. The people below might see her transform, or the other people on the Wheel. Rei noticed her friends start their henshins also. She flipped open her communicator and said,  
"No, wait. Let me get the slime-ball. If we all knock him at once, people will see us." The three agreed as Rei thought to herself "I sure hope what I've been practicing works." She then whispered her henshin. But, as glowing red pumps replaced her sneakers, she whispered "Mars Henshin CEASE!" She looked the same to anyone below or above her, but she had just enough power now to zap Ranbou a little reminder of his oath. "Mars Fire Burn!" A barely visible stream of red fire energy shot out from her fingertips towards Ranbou, who was trying to French a struggling Usagi. As Rei's stream hit its target, she cheered silently. Ranbou yelled a very loud curse word, jumped, and fell out of the chair. He had unbuckled his seat belt to better his chances at cornering Usagi, and was now paying the price. Usagi looked relieved, and just a bit happy. Unfortunately, Ranbou was only ten feet above the ground, so he fell to the soft mud below. After composing herself, Usagi looked for the energy beam she had seen hit Ranbou. She turned her gaze to Rei, who was just putting her Henshin Rod away. Usagi shot her a grateful glace, and vowed at that very moment to dump Haisha Ranbou.  
~*~*~*~*~  
"I'm sorry, Chiba-san. But if you don't start getting here on time, I'm going to have to fire you. Is this clear?" Hitonoii Dansei said sternly as Mamoru straggled in, twenty minutes late . . . again. He liked Mamoru, but he couldn't tolerate failure. And he wanted Mamoru to get over this girl, move on. Of course, why Mamoru dumped her in the first place, he couldn't figure out. The times Mamoru had brought Usagi to work, she had lightened and brightened everyone's day. The old man had no reason to believe she did anything terrible enough to instigate a breakup. And he could never find out, because Mamoru never talked about his personal life. Oh, well.  
"I know that, Dansei-san. I'm just . . . preoccupied. But I'll be here at eight sharp tomorrow, no, make it seven." Mamoru said desperately. He only had this job, and now since he and Usagi were no longer an `Item' as the Americans say, he had nothing to do at home but brood and stew in his misery. He needed this job to keep him busy, to keep him sane. "Please, just give me another chance. I won't be late again."  
"Oh, all right. But get some sleep, and be here bright and early. And Chiba-san," Hitonoii's voice grew soft as he viewed his young friend, almost like a son to him, slowly wasting away, "Don't be afraid to love." With that, Hitonoii left a dwelling Mamoru behind.  
~*~*~*~*~  
Mamoru was, once again, staring at his wall. He spent most of his spare time doing so. He had heard around town that the petite blond who hung out at the arcade with that bunch of girls was seeing Haisha Ranbou. This news had highly distressed and angered Mamoru. That she would go out with HIM totally pissed him off. But then, after a bit of ranting to Motoki, he confessed to both to his friend and himself that Usagi wouldn't be dating Haisha if he hadn't dumped her. This, of course, bummed Mamoru even more. A week or so after the breakup, Mamoru stopped going out of his apartment for anything, really. He only went out to see Motoki, go to work, and hide behind a tree and watch Usagi go to school. This was why he was late to work every morning. But, he couldn't tell anyone, not even Motoki, or Usagi might find out. She always looked so happy and carefree, except when she was with Ranbou. Then she looked sad and agitated.  
"Why did I leave her? Why? Why did I hurt her, and throw her into the arms of that monster?" Mamoru sighed, as he did every night, to his wall as he fell into a fitful sleep. But tonight, the nightmares he experienced were much different. Instead of the usual Usagi leaving him, him jumping off a cliff in uncontrollable grief and being impaled on the sharp rocks below, the dream had nothing to do with her imagined departure. As the dream fully emerged, he found himself in a long ally. Behind him, he could see the arcade, and the bustling town of Tokyo. But for some odd reason, Mamoru felt a horrible fear and an irrepressible urge to run down the ally. As he came to the end, there was a wall of scummy reddish green bricks and a few flickering streetlights. But Mamoru didn't notice these. What Mamoru saw made his heart stop.  
Haisha Ranbou stood over a blood soaked Usagi, with a bloody knife in his right hand as held Usagi's head and brutally enveloped her lifeless lips with his own. Her beautiful odangos was tinted maroon from the blood that seeped from a gash on her forehead. Her clothing was ripped, indicating a struggle. Mamoru roared in rage, and tried to tackle Ranbou, but he felt his body freeze in place and was rooted the spot. Ranbou turned to Mamoru, and sneered,  
"You shouldn't have left her, Chiba-baka. She shouldn't have defied me. Now she'll always be mine." With that, Ranbou picked up Usagi's corpse, spat at Mamoru's feet, and disappeared. Mamoru could now move, but Ranbou was long gone . . . with Usagi.  
"USAKO!" Mamoru cried in anguish. As he collapsed and sobbed hysterically, he heard the same voice from the night he deserted Usagi.  
"This is only one future that may happen if you do not right your wrongs. You must save your relationship with Tsukino Usagi, to save the world." The voice said urgently.  
"Who are you? Why do you torment me? Why did you show me this?" Mamoru cried as he searched frantically for the voice in the dim, dank ally.  
"You don't remember me? I am surprised at you, Chiba Mamoru. But I guess it is for the best. You MUST save your relationship with Tsukino Usagi, or all will be lost." The voice now said kindly, but still urgently. "You MUST."  
~*~*~*~*~  
"You know it wasn't all that hard to dump him, after all." Usagi said cheerfully as she and Ami played chess. Rei and Minako were playing checkers, and Makoto, Artemis, and Luna were playing poker as best as the cats could. Usagi was feeling the best she had in weeks. After their breakup, she had immediately gone out and found the one person Mamoru would definitely NOT want her dating. Ranbou had been in the same orphanage as Mamoru, and they had always competed in everything. But, as Mamoru and Ranbou both said, Mamoru was the general favorite in everything. Where Mamoru was polite, sweet if quiet, and kind, Ranbou was rude, bitter, and cruel. Over the years, Mamoru became distant to everyone, but he remained gracious and considerate. Ranbou also became distant to all that knew him, but he also became more uncouth and nastier. Usagi knew he was the last person on Earth Mamoru would want to see at her side. This, of course, led her to date him. It also helped that Ranbou had liked Usagi since her met her a few years back. He had just not tried anything until she was unquestionably free. But, after a while, Usagi saw why Mamoru wasn't fond of him. It wasn't just because he was keen on her. It was because he found his pleasure in being a vicious, sadistic jerk. But that horrible time in Usagi's life was over, just a few hours ago. She had told Ranbou it was OVER. She had stood her ground through the pleading, the denial, and the threats. Now she could go gaga over any guy she wanted again. So why did she feel so sad still? Why did she still feel like a piece of her had left when Mamoru left her?  
"That's because you know he was a complete baka, mistreating someone as nice as yourself." Makoto said fiercely, breaking Usagi out of her reverie. She gave her friend a squeeze on the shoulder. The others smiled warmly to her as well.  
"Thanks, Mako-chan. it's really great, knowing I have friends like all of you. I just wish I could get totally over Mamo-cha . . . Chiba-san" Usagi said quietly. All present looked dismal as well, because they had promised Usagi they wouldn't speak to Mamoru either. He had been a good companion to them all and him throwing away his relationship with Usagi had severed the bonds of friendship he had with the girls and the kitties.  
"Don't worry Usa-chan. it'll all work out. Who knows, maybe Chiba-san will stop being a dimwit, and take you back." Luna said sympathetically.  
"That's nice of you to say Luna," Usagi said as she stood up to leave, "but I'm not sure I want him too."  
~*~*~*~*~  
As Mamoru walked home towards his apartment building, he thought of his most recent dream. Was this also his future self, sending him a message through a telepathic bond? No, it had been a female voice. Was it a friend from a past or future life? Mamoru highly doubted it. The voice seemed so familiar, like he had heard it in the past year or so. All he knew was the voice and the dream that accompanied it was a warning. He had to save Usagi from Ranbou, or at least that's what he interpreted. But when would this horror happen? All the dream specified was the night, and the ally across from the arcade. Ever since the dream two days ago, Mamoru had called in sick twice with the 72-hour flu, so he could stand watch at the ally all night, just in case Ranbou tried something. But Mamoru couldn't spend every night hanging out in the ally. He had work, and people might think HE was up to no good. It was beginning to look like a hopeless case, when as he came upon the dreading passageway, he felt the same fear he had felt in his dream. He began to run as if his life depended on it and, in a way, it did. But just as he came on the barely lit, scummy green wall he skidded to a stop and gapped at the most surprising sight of his life  
~*~*~*~*~  
Usagi wasn't dead on the ground, as Mamoru feared. Instead, RANBOU was on the ground, on his stomach, pleading for his life and sobbing wildly. This amused Mamoru, until he saw WHOM had Ranbou pinned. It was a figure he once saw on a daily basis (albeit not in the form she was now.) A Young woman, in a sailor-type fuku, held her captive still with one white boot while demanding an apology.  
"If you EVER even lay a FINGER on my friend Tsukino Usagi again, or any of her friends, OR her family, I swear I will hurt you so bad you'll wish you died. Got it?" The blond demanded, her odangos shaking from the anger emitting from her. Her pure white wings rippled in the breeze as she waited for his answer.  
"Yeah, yeah, I know! I don't go near any of your friends, I got it!" Ranbou cried as the sharp boot heel cut into his flesh.  
"Good. Now get out of here before I really get mad." With that Ranbou scrambled up and off, screaming out as he left,  
"Chiba, you'd better run! That bitch is crazy!" Mamoru laughed, and turned to congratulate Eternal SailorMoon when Usagi stepped out from the shadowed alleyway to pat the now de-transformed Usagi on the back.  
"Huh?" Mamoru said, confused. Both Usagi people turned to face him. One held a look of mild contempt and sadness for him. The other held rage (And something else?) only the true Usagi could show . . . for him, anyway.  
"Not that it's any of YOUR business, but Rei-chan had a vision of tonight's events, so Mina-chan used the disguise pen to look like me, so I could save her from Haisha-san. Then I did. Now, is there a reason your here, or are you just out for a late night stroll?" Usagi dripped sarcasm as Minako transformed back to herself. Mamoru was at a loss of words for how beautiful Usagi looked in the moonlight. Even in the most disgusting alley in all of Tokyo, Usagi still shone with an inner radiance. Minako was cute, even beautiful. But she could never have such a hold of love over Mamoru as Usagi did.  
"Um, ok Chiba-san. We're going to go home now. Bye." Minako said gently as Mamoru stared at Usagi for a full half minute. Mamoru snapped to it, and said,  
"No, hold on. Wait. Can I speak to Tsukino-san . . . alone?" Mamoru asked Minako, but his question was towards Usagi.  
"I don't care. Usa-chan, what do think?" Minako asked. She did want Mamoru and Usagi to make up, but she couldn't force it, even if she WAS the senshi of love.  
"I guess. But you'd better make it quick. My father doesn't really like you, and if he finds out I was with you this late at night, well, let's just say you might not make it to Crystal Tokyo." Usagi said, mockingly sweet. She then turned to Minako, who was shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably. "Mina-chan, could you stand outside the ally, so you can walk me home?" Usagi said quietly.  
"Um, sure. I'll be outside." With that, Minako jumped across the ally's length, and was on the sidewalk.  
"Now, what?" Usagi asked irritably, to mask her inner turmoil. She looked at Mamoru expectantly, waiting for him to talk. She so wanted to kiss his unshed tears away, to hold him tight and never let go. But her love had wavered that show of affection when her left her. At least that's what Usagi tried to believe.  
"Usako, I," Mamoru began.  
"Don't call me that. I don't go by that anymore. Not from you, anyway." Usagi said sadly. She no longer was trying to hide the hurt and pain inflicted on her.  
"I . . . I'm sorry. I never should have left you . . . again. But I . . . "  
"Save it, Chiba-san. It's over. I understand us dying and you forgetting our love. That wasn't your fault. I understand Beryl taking you over, and you trying to kill me. That wasn't your fault. I understand you leaving me because your future self thought it was a good idea. That wasn't your fault. I understand you getting Nehelenia's mirror shard in your eye, and you becoming a total jerk. That wasn't your fault. I even understand you being killed by Galaxia, and not being there when I needed you most. THAT wasn't your fault. What I don't understand is this. We were finally happy, about to marry, and you go and fuck everything up." At this, Mamoru winced. "Didn't think I had it in me, did you? Well, I do. Chiba-san, I'm sorry too. But it's over. I love you too much to risk getting hurt again. And, just so you know, this IS your fault." With that, Usagi turned on her heel, and with tears streaming down her softly curved cheeks, left her Mamoru crushed in the alley.  
~*~*~*~*~  
"Usa-chan, can I talk to you?" Naru asked quietly. After becoming a senshi, Usagi had unconsciously shut Osaka Naru and Guro Umino out of her life. She had just recently noticed her negligence towards her friends since kindergarten.  
"Sure, Ru-chan, What's up?" Usagi asked as she put down the manga she was reading. Usagi had started to include Naru and Umino in anything she did with the others, to make up for all the lost time. The only reason they had not accompanied the five girls to the Amusement park was because Ranbou had said he was only willing to come if Umino didn't (seeing as Umino would protect his girlfriend and ex-crush to the end) and Naru would not go without Umino. It had been two days since she kicked Ranbou's ass, and she was now hanging out with Naru at her apartment.  
"I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I mean, you've been acting like you did when Chiba-san left you a while back. You know, all sad and depressed. Are you two fighting again?" Naru ask with obvious concern in her voice.  
"Um, well . . . I should have told you sooner, since you are my best friend, but Chiba-san and I broke up." Usagi stated. She then proceeded to tell Naru the whole story, only leaving out her being SailorMoon. "He made it clear he doesn't love me, and I just don't see any reason to pursue his affections if he'll just deny them." Usagi said coldly. As she turned from her friend, she took in the tears forming in her eyes. As she started to cry silently, a firm hand rested on her shoulder.  
"Usa-chan, a good reason to 'pursue his affections' is because you love him. And he loves you. I've known you a long time and I know there are some things you haven't told me," Usagi tried to protest, but was silenced with a gentle palm, "but one thing you didn't HAVE to tell me is how you feel about Chiba-san. If you love him as much as I think you do, you should get him to apologize, have him promise he'll NEVER hurt you again, and then you can be together, like you should be."  
"Oh, Ru-chan, I DO love him. I love him with all my heart and soul. But I don't want to get hurt again." Usagi said sadly. Naru laughed, and patted Usagi's knee encouragingly.  
"Usa-chan, he LOVES you. No matter what happens, he'll always love and come back to you. I suggest you go to him first. A love like yours is really rare."  
"I guess you're right. Thanks Ru-chan. I'm going to go see him right now. We'll hang out tomorrow, ok?" Usagi said as she wiped her eyes and stood. Naru nodded, and watched her best friend walk towards her destiny. As she closed the door behind her, Usagi didn't hear Naru softly murmur,  
"Go and win back your soul mate, SailorMoon. You'll never regret it."  
~*~*~*~*~  
"Mamo-chan, I love you, and I'm willing to forgive you if you promise you'll never hurt me again. No, that won't work. Mamoru-san I won't be hurt again! No, too huffy. Mamo-chan, I . . . " Usagi mumbled to herself as she crossed the street. She didn't notice the dark, shadowy figure following her until she felt a rough hand clamp over her mouth. She cried out before the hand applied terrifying pressure to her face, blocking her airways. As she began to lose consciousness, she heard a familiar voice hiss,  
"Hey baby. I don't know how you know that Sailor bitch, but she ain't here to help you now, so I'm going to have a little fun. You try to run, I won't think twice before shooting your pretty little head off. Let's go find somewhere a little more private then this, shall we?" With that, Usagi was dragged off into the nearest alley, kicking and fighting the oncoming darkness. As she finally lost consciousness, the last thing she thought was how she wished she'd never met Haisha Ranbou.  
~*~*~*~*~  
Mamoru walked along numbly, not noticing the tears streaming down his face. Mamoru never cried, and when Motoki saw him, had immediately told him to go home and rest. Mamoru headed home, simply because he had nothing else to do. Hitonoii Dansei, taking in Mamoru's hollow eyes and tear stained cheeks, had given him the rest of the week off. Mamoru vaguely remembered Dansei telling him to go home and rest also, but Mamoru barely heard him, let alone cared what he said. As Mamoru walked along he heard someone cry out and, even in his miserable state, felt it his duty to help those in need. He looked around quickly, and barely caught sight of Haisha dragging a young blond into an alley. He noticed two strange spheres atop the girl's head, and his breath caught in his throat.  
"Usako, no." Mamoru whispered as he ran after the two figures as fast as his legs would carry him.  
~*~*~*~*~  
"Now, baby, I want you to know it's nothin' personal, but you are the finest piece of ass I've ever seen, and I know you'll like it too." Ranbou said evilly as he lugged Usagi's limp form into the abandoned duplex he had chosen specially for this particular purpose. He dumped Usagi in a corner, and began to unbutton his grimy jacket. As he was taking off his jeans, A masked man in a cape burst through the open door and tackled Ranbou. They rolled around on the floor, and finally the caped crusader pinned Ranbou to the ground, losing his top hat in the process. Tuxedo Kamen punched Ranbou over and over, until he was sure he had knocked him out. He then got up slowly, kicked Ranbou's limp form an extra time, and ran over to Usagi's still body. He then checked her over for vital signs. When he was sure she was alive, Tuxedo Kamen tenderly caressed Usagi's slightly bruised face and whispered sweet nothings to her. He then turned viciously to Ranbou and noticed he was wobbly and holding his head, but standing. "I ain't giving up that easily, dickhead." Ranbou sneered as he whipped out his semi-automatic and repeatedly shot at Tuxedo Kamen. Tuxedo Kamen calmly took out his cane, swiftly put it to its longest length, and spun it at an alarming rate. The bullets bounced harmlessly off the spinning staff and one hit Ranbou in the arm. He cried out and glared at Tuxedo Kamen as he held his now bleeding appendage.  
"What are you going to do now? I've heard around town that you've got that nasty disease, hemophilia, where if you BLEED too much you might just DIE." Tuxedo Kamen sarcastically ridiculed. He knew this information from being in orphanage, and found it incredible funny. He then stopped and stood expectantly, waiting for Ranbou's response. Ranbou swayed and said, as he quickly pulled out his gun and pointed it towards Usagi, who was just regaining consciousness,  
"If I can't have her, no one can." He then pulled the trigger and collapsed.  
~*~*~*~*~  
Tuxedo Kamen stared in utter horror as the bullet raced towards his soul mate. Before he had time to think, he had stepped in its path, and soon felt the searing pain of flesh upon lead. He too, collapsed, and soon fell into the blissful world of those dying. Blackness swirled before his eyes, and he hardly felt the warm hands cradling him, or heard the sobbing voice that said,  
"Don't you die, Mamo-chan! Please don't die! I love you! Please don't die!" Usagi sobbed over the now de-transformed Mamoru, and didn't notice the oncoming sirens, or feel the trembling hand of Sailor Mercury on her shoulder. The senshi-tachi, who had been called by Mamoru (He still had his communicator) as he ran to Usagi's aid, had flew as fast as they could but without Usagi, could not use the sailor teleport and had to use conventional transportation. When they arrived, they saw the most saddening scene yet in their lives. There was Ranbou on the soiled floor with a smoking gun, and Usagi embracing a motionless Mamoru. They de-transformed, and stood about Usagi, not knowing what to do. When the police arrived they followed the ambulance in Minako's car, going towards Juuban Hospital, and an uncertain future.  
~*~*~*~*~  
"He's not in a coma, but he IS on the brink of one. We have him in stable condition, although he might slip at any time. As well, he isn't responsive. However, you may be able to reach him. You may see him now." The doctor told Usagi in a no-nonsense air. He knew of doctors who stepped around the subject, and only brought false hope. The young man brought in an hour ago was in a state of shock, and might slide into a coma at any time. This doctor knew, from experience, that having a loved one come visit the patient could be the difference between life and death. The girl nodded, and rung her hands as she asked,  
"The other man brought in, where is he?" Usagi asked as she felt a rage so terrible, that she feared she would explode.  
"Well, we treated him for his disease, and the police took him a little while ago." The doctor said gently. Usagi nodded again, thanked the doctor, and went back to the waiting room to report. She took a second to survey the room. Her five closest friends (Naru had been called to comfort Usagi), Motoki, and Hitonoii Dansei sat up in anticipation, waiting for the details.  
"He's could fall into a coma, and I'm going to visit him. I'll be back later." Usagi said abruptly. She then turned to go, but stopped when she felt a kind hand on her shoulder.  
"Don't worry, Usa-chan. it'll be ok." Ami said compassionately. Usagi smiled a tiny smile, and walked towards room 202, where Mamoru was placed. Ami sat back down, and sighed.  
"Will HE be ok I want to know."  
"I sure hope so. It would kill Usa-chan for him to die." Rei said dejectedly. Everyone silently agreed, and looked hopefully towards room 202.  
~*~*~*~*~  
Usagi walked in. The room was pure white and barren except for a side table, an upholstered chair, and the bed. Mamoru, in the cot, was hooked up to many tubes and such, and Usagi winced when she heard his rasping cough. She walked over, sat down in the soft chair, and took Mamoru's hand. It felt cold to the touch, and Usagi pressed it to her cheek, as if to lend some of her warmth to it.  
"Don't you die, Mamo-chan. I love you too much to lose you. I know why you left so much now. I had a vision right before Ranbou attacked me, where you told me everything. I suppose it was your soul again, trying to make sure I knew why you had hurt me. I know you're afraid I might leave you, but I'd never hurt you like that. I love you, and ChibiUsa-chan, too much to jeopardize our future. Please wake up, Mamo-chan." Usagi whispered softly. She then placed her head on Mamoru's leg, and squeezed hers eyes shut to stop her relentless tears. She cried, and the now glowing Ginzuishou in her brooch (on which the cover had mysteriously vanished) went unnoticed as a bright light washed over both figures in the room. Usagi looked up as she felt a peace evade her being. She then turned to Mamoru and gasped, as she saw a most astonishing sight. Mamoru was floating a foot over the bed, and was encased in the light coming from the Ginzuishou. After a few minutes, the light dimmed, and Mamoru floated back down to his cot. As soon as he touched the covers, his smoky eyes fluttered open, and he looked around. When he took in Usagi his eyes began to mist.  
"Usako . . . you came to visit me." Mamoru whispered. Usagi retook his hand, and said with all the conviction in the world,  
"Of course I did. I LOVE you. I know why you left me. I won't ever leave you, so you don't have to worry. I love you."  
"I'm so sorry. I never wanted to go, but I was so afraid you would leave me. I love you with all my heart and soul, and I'll never hurt you again. If I do, I give you permission to never speak to me again." Mamoru said solemnly. He braced himself for her answer.  
"I don't need it. I know you won't leave me again. I mean, the crystal knew, didn't it? Why else would it heal you? Now, you should rest. I'm going to go tell the others. I love you." Usagi kissed Mamoru's forehead, blew a kiss, and went out the door. Mamoru smiled, wondered how he had won such a beautiful and wonderful girl, and fell into his first restful sleep in months. As he slept, a lone woman appeared in a flash of light, and gazed on Mamoru with sisterly love.  
"I am glad, Chiba Mamoru, that you've come to your senses, and listened to so many sage friends. As a wise man once said, 'Don't be afraid to love.'" With one last look Meioh Setsuna vanished in a cloud of gray smoke. "And I see you no longer are."

Notes-  
1\. This story takes place about two years after Galaxia in the anime, in Japanese but might have some manga qualities.  
2\. Haisha Ranbou-Violent Loser  
Ranbou=Violent  
Haisha=Loser  
Hitonoii Dansei-Male/Man of good character  
Dansei-Male/Man  
Hitonoii-of good character  
3\. I tried to make this as Japanese as possible, but I may have made some errors. Please don't be too harsh.  
4\. I can't stress it enough, please give CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.  
5\. I'd like to thank all the story authors who inspired me to write this. There are too many to name, so if you have any work at http://www.fanfiction.net, chances are I've read it and I mean you.  
6\. All the female characters are eighteen or so.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first finished SailorMoon story and I believe my first finished fanfiction ever. I wrote this mess between the ages of 14-18, and you can immediately tell. I was a teenager in the heyday of bad SailorMoon fanfic tropes, not least of which were “Mamoru breaks up with Usagi again” and “Usagi is far more competent than canon suggests.”
> 
> This story is a prime example of both tropes. About the only thing I don’t delve into in this fanfic is Usagi defecting to a crossover universe, such as Dragonball Z or Gundam. The main reasons that I don’t go in that direction are that I have always been an UsaMamo shipper and that I love the Inners. Still, I find a lot of Mamoru’s actions (in every media format) to be confusing at best and downright cruel at worst. I didn’t have any literary analysis classes under my belt at the time, so I wrote fanfiction to parse out my feelings for the media that I consumed.
> 
> The reason that I wrote this fanfic in particular was to try and give Usagi some agency from what I saw as a codependent and somewhat-harmful couple. The problem was, as a young teenager, I’d never actually seen a healthy relationship. Most of the adults in my life were in miserable marriages (or divorced). I’d read books with happy couples, but those life lessons were constantly undermined by the real toxicity around me.
> 
> So instead of focusing on the domestic fluff that I liked to read, I wrote what I knew: breakups and fights and violence. I wrote misogyny and a trite reconciliation that didn’t actually address any of the underlying issues between Mamoru and Usagi. I certainly didn’t devote much time to the characters apart or how such a breakup would affect them beyond missing each other. The faux-feminism that I wrote was completely swallowed by the ending where the Big Strong Man inevitably saves the day. You can tell that this was written by a lonely, traumatized teenager desperate for love.
> 
> If I were to write a similar story today as a generally well-adjusted adult, it’d be a multichapter rumination on love, mental health, and relationships. Mamoru and Usagi wouldn’t get back together until at least halfway through the story, and there would be chapters and chapters devoted to them learning to be a healthy couple again. Therapy would actually make an appearance. There would be no easy bandaid ending with codependent declarations of eternal love sealed with a kiss.
> 
> But that’s for another time. I’m sharing this fanfiction both as a way to preserve my work and as a lesson in what not to do. Even as this fanfic makes me cringe, it did help solidify my love of writing and give me an itch to expand the worlds in which I found myself immersed. There’s nothing wrong with admitting when something I’ve made is bad, as long as I learn to do better.
> 
> I sincerely hope that I’ve learned in the last twenty years.


End file.
